Confessions
by Clez
Summary: Set after 'No Man Left Behind'... Chapter 3 is here now. Thanks.
1. Confessions

'Set after No Man Left Behind'  
  
  
  
Emma deLauro sat on her own in her room, staring at the bare floor, a river of thoughts coursing through her mind. She tried to filter them, but her own thoughts were mingling in with them so much that she found it too much of a task to decipher which ones were her own, and which ones were not.  
  
With a heavy sigh, and a hanging of her head, she closed her eyes, and managed to shut out all of the thoughts altogether. It was a technique she had learned to master a while ago now, with the help of Adam Kane. She didn't like to think about what would have happened to her without Adam, and Shalimar Fox. and Jesse Kilmartin. They had rescued her in her most desperate time of need. She had been terrified, and alone. But not anymore. Thanks to them.  
  
She knew she shouldn't count out the heroic achievements of Brennan Mulwray, but out of the team, she had known him the least amount of time, and even though she felt she knew him better than the others, mentally, in reality, she was as truly distant from them as she had been with her parents.  
  
Emma sniffed, and wiped the back of her hand gently across her eye, smothering the tear that had threatened to tumble so freely down her cheek.  
  
And it was at that moment, in a sudden and unexpected flash of memory, that she recalled the look of terror of poor Jesse's face when she had sent out her psychic wave to frighten off those rebel soldiers.  
  
She shook her head. He had been so shocked. he had had no idea she was capable. and thanks to her again, he still didn't know.  
  
What had she done? How could she have violated his trust like that?  
  
She had taken that memory away from him, invaded his thoughts, and stolen something she had created in the first place.  
  
In truth, she was frightened of her own power, and that thought alone was enough to make her shy away from others. especially since their evolutionary burst recently, and the events with Gabriel Ashlocke.  
  
That man had been an enigma. Emma hated feeling what he had been thinking, and knowing what he was planning. But she hadn't shared everything with her team. There had been things she had kept hidden within herself, locked tightly away in the back of her tormented mind.  
  
It had just been so chaotic, she hadn't been able to process it all at once, and when she had, things were in such a state of disarray already, she didn't want to make that worse.  
  
Drawing her knees up to her chest on her comfortable warm armchair, she let her head sink to rest on them, and covered her head with her arms, as if to protect herself from some invisible evil.  
  
What was she so afraid of all of a sudden? Was it the power? Or the responsibility?  
  
She didn't have a clue. but she knew she needed to talk to someone.  
  
And she knew immediately who that someone was.  
  
With a determined expression, she stood from her chair, and walked from her room, her feet covered in soft socks to protect the soles of her feet. She didn't want to bother fussing over shoes. they weren't necessary. She was only going down the hall.  
  
Walking from her room, she noted the silence that had fallen over Sanctuary, and it seemed to find a way into her, and it was eerie, so quiet, and lonely. The silence was something she didn't like. Emma had been used to noise her whole life.  
  
Drawing to a halt outside of the door, she braced herself, steeling her resolves, and knocked on the door quietly, a gentle rapping of the knuckles that was just loud enough to draw attention from the person inside.  
  
Within a short time, she heard a small voice grant her entrance, muffled by the door itself.  
  
She entered, hesitantly at first, but then a little more confidently, striding a short way into the room, and closing the door silently behind her.  
  
Jesse Kilmartin looked up from his book, and smiled warmly in a friendly manner. "Hey, Emma. How's it goin'?"  
  
She sighed. "Not so good."  
  
At this point, Jesse lowered the book, closing it and setting it on a nearby tabletop, his interest in its contents having vanished with those three words she had muttered. He was immediately concerned, that natural instinct he had kicking in at once at the first sign of trouble. He loved them all in his own sweet and caring way, and for that, Emma was truly thankful. She really needed his guidance right now. and, if he would offer it, his forgiveness.  
  
She felt very small all of a sudden, and cold. She stood in the middle of the room, about ten feet from Jesse, her arms hugged tightly around her bare arms. Her vest top did very little to keep out the cold. She shifted a little on her feet.  
  
"Jesse, you remember when we were in the woods, looking for that weapon, and Brennan got caught?"  
  
He nodded, standing from the chair. His white clothing gave him an angelic appearance, one that almost made Emma smile. She had always thought of him as a sort of guardian, she supposed.  
  
"Well, do you remember when the soldiers were closing in on us?"  
  
"Yeah, we had to take off pretty fast," Jesse recalled, nodding his head, and speaking slowly, as he usually did, so that no one would confuse his words or meaning.  
  
"No, the other time. The one before."  
  
It was then that the confusion crept over his features, and Emma bowed her head slightly.  
  
Preparing herself, she moved up to him, placed a palm to the side of his head, and gave Jesse back the memory she had stolen from him. In a flash, she had returned it, and broken contact.  
  
Jesse stumbled back for a moment, using the chair behind him as support, before he regained his balance. He stared at her in shock as the memory of that moment flowed back to him, and his thoughts, feelings, and actions.  
  
"What. what's going on?" he asked in a shaken voice. He looked at her warily, as though frightened for the first time since they had met.  
  
That was enough to make Emma's eyes swell with tears once again. "I'm sorry, Jesse."  
  
"For what?" Then he shook his head vigorously for a moment. "No wait, cancel that. What exactly did you do, Emma?"  
  
Swallowing back the tears for a while, Emma continued, her voice small and quiet, "I took your memory, because I didn't want the others to find out about what I could do. If they did, they'd probably be afraid of me. I don't want that."  
  
Jesse blinked once. "Well, I wouldn't be surprised if they turn out to be scared. Emma, the sheer power you have. you don't even realise what you could do, do you?"  
  
Feeling the first tear fall, she had to wait before her voice had settled enough so that she could talk stably enough to make sense, "Please don't tell them, Jesse. I'm so sorry for what I did. I never should have." And then she couldn't hold them back anymore, and she cried, softly at first, and then, unable to keep them to herself, simply collapsed to the floor in sobs. "I'm so sorry," she sobbed sincerely.  
  
Jesse was immediately there to comfort her, even after what she had done to him back in that forest. He wrapped his arms around her protectively, and settled his head on hers.  
  
"I never should have done that," she cried pathetically, her voice little more than a whimper.  
  
She could feel the sincere sympathy from Jesse as he comforted her with his words, "It's okay, Emma. You don't have to worry about it. I won't tell Adam and the others. They won't find out, I swear."  
  
"But after what I did." she began, her head rested on his chest. His warmth was so comforting, and she didn't want to leave that right now.  
  
"Forget about it. You were scared. I understand. I get like that sometimes," he told her calmly, rubbing her back soothingly. "I admire the way you came back to me about this. told me everything, and gave me my memory back. That was brave, Emma. If I was you, I probably wouldn't have been able to do that."  
  
She looked up at him, tears slowing, and after a couple of deep breaths, she said, "Thank you, Jesse."  
  
He smiled his acknowledgement, his blue eyes telling her everything she needed.  
  
"Thank you for understanding," she continued. She hugged him then. "I love you."  
  
Jesse was silent for a moment, clearly not quite sure how to respond, before embracing her in return, and saying softly, "I love you too, Emma."  
  
  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is to follow up on the events that transgressed during the episode 'No Man Left Behind' that recently aired here in the UK. I feel that Emma should not have done what she did to Jesse, and if she carries on the way she's going, we could probably see some nightmare come into existence. Emma could get carried away with her power. I thought I'd express that here, and also add the hint of romance that I feel is always broadcast in a scene between Jesse and Emma. The two have such beautiful chemistry together, and I thought I'd use that to my creative advantage. Feel free to review, or move on without acknowledgement. Thank you. 


	2. A Tough Decision

He stared up into the sky as the rain poured heavily and relentlessly from the heavens above. His blue eyes closed for a moment as he let his mind wander.  
  
The events of the past couple of weeks had him in quite a state of bewilderment. He didn't know what he should do about any of it either.  
  
Standing up on the peak of the secluded Sanctuary, Jesse Kilmartin traced back careful in his mind, step by step, until he couldn't think about it anymore. He still wasn't one hundred percent clear on Emma's reasoning for erasing his memory, and he still partially regretted her giving it back.  
  
Jesse wasn't sure he wanted those memories, wanted the knowledge of Emma's sheer power, of what she could potentially accomplish.  
  
Where would it all lead to? Would Emma be able to handle that much volatile power without losing something of what she really was?  
  
That was a sad thought. The thought of losing someone he loved so dearly because the power had overcome her. he shuddered at the thought.  
  
As his drenched hair dripped in front of his eyes, he drew his hands out of his pockets, and began heading back for Sanctuary.  
  
He needed to speak to Adam. 


	3. Hurt The One You Love

Casting a glance around Sanctuary as he entered, Jesse tried to shake a little of the moisture out of his messy hair. It was still dripping, but less excessively than before, having started to dry out on the way inside. The rain had ceased shortly after Jesse had decided to head back inside, and on the way down the mountainside, the sky had cleared somewhat.  
  
Removing his leather jacket and tossing it onto a nearby surface, careful not to dampen any computer outlets, he walked into the large entrance of Sanctuary.  
  
"Adam?" he called out timidly, not wanting Emma to hear what he had to say to their mentor.  
  
The response he gained was a little different than he had hoped. It came from the computer on the desk to his right. A small, alerting beep.  
  
He crossed to it immediately, and activated the incoming communication.  
  
His brow furrowed at the scene that welcomed him. It was Adam, with Brennan and Shalimar in the background. They were on the Double Helix.  
  
"Adam? Where are you going?" Jesse asked, seating himself on the edge of the chair nearby.  
  
Adam looked into the screen beside him, and as he flew the plane, replied, "We got word of a rebel faction of mutants downtown that's kicking up some trouble. I know a couple of them, so I'm taking Brennan and Shalimar to see if we can sort it out before anyone gets hurt."  
  
"What about Emma?" Jesse inquired, checking over his shoulder, suddenly very wary in the rest of the team's absence.  
  
Adam smiled. "I trust you can take care of her whilst we're gone. I'll contact you if anything comes up."  
  
With that, the screen went blank. Silence descended on the room.  
  
Jesse swallowed dryly. Why hadn't they contacted him via commring when they had heard of it? He could have been of some use, surely. But, apparently, he couldn't, and was to be left behind. again.  
  
He stood from the chair. Something wasn't right.  
  
You're just being paranoid, he told himself sternly, forcing a small smile.  
  
Jesse heard the tiniest of sounds from the corner of the room, and flinched, whirling immediately, seeing nothing there. He shuddered.  
  
What was he so afraid of all of a sudden?  
  
That was when he heard the footsteps approaching, though he could not see the figure. It frightened him, and he turned rapidly in all directions, hunting visually for the approaching threat.  
  
Upon turning a full circle, he was shocked to the point of stumbling at the sudden presence of Emma before him, her face serious, stern, grave.  
  
"Em. Emma, hi," he fumbled, smiling nervously, and then clearing his throat and composing himself.  
  
Why was he so jumpy all of a sudden? Emma was his friend.  
  
She stared, her eyes penetrating, boring deep into Jesse.  
  
She was reading him.  
  
His eyes went wide as the look of disgust and horror crossed her beautiful face. She looked furious immediately afterwards.  
  
"Emma, wait, let me explain," he offered, but was immediately forced to the ground violently by an invisible force. Something tightened around his throat.  
  
Emma constantly glared.  
  
"Please, stop!" Jesse choked, grabbing at something that wasn't really there, his oxygen running short, and fast.  
  
"I trusted you," she growled, and loomed over him.  
  
Jesse closed his eyes tight, and managed to say, "I was trying to help you."  
  
"How? By betraying me?" She screamed then, enraged, "Liar!"  
  
The pressure around his throat ceased, and for a moment, Jesse was relieved, only to then be thrown forcefully across the room, slamming hard into a table topped by a computer. He crashed to the ground in pain, the computer and its components tumbling around him in a sparking mess.  
  
"Emma," he cried, "stop! You don't understand!"  
  
He could hear her pacing closer, and from beneath the table, see her booted feet approaching slowly. She knew she didn't need to hurry. She could find him wherever he hid in Sanctuary. Her mind was that mutated, her powers that honed.  
  
Then it hit him. That was why Adam and the others hadn't alerted him to the situation. Emma had created it, forced the impression upon their minds, pushed them out of Sanctuary the only way she knew how.  
  
And all so she could corner Jesse.  
  
"I understand perfectly," she responded, her voice cold, filled with venom.  
  
This wasn't the Emma deLauro that Jesse knew. the Emma he loved. This was something terrible, overtaken by her newfound possibilities, and her power. The plain, incredible power that she had. It was changing her.  
  
Like Ashlocke.  
  
Jesse scrambled to his feet, and sensing it, predicting its coming, he massed immediately, even though he was short on breath.  
  
Her psionic blast struck his massed frame, and died instantly, irritating the approaching Emma.  
  
Jesse returned to normal, and phased through the wall behind him quickly, avoiding another blast that followed shortly after.  
  
He found himself in the lab, vials of brightly coloured liquids and DNA samples filling shelves and worktops all around the walls. The scanner on the ceiling was stationary, and the bed in the middle of the room was empty. Medical and scientific instruments alike adorned the room, filled cupboards, and were placed here and there on trays beside the bed and computers.  
  
Jesse felt the rush of panic start to rise up in him again, and he forced it down, calming himself, disciplining his emotions so that Emma wouldn't sense his fear.  
  
That was when the glass from the door smashed inwards, flying across the room like a sharp wind, forcing Jesse to throw himself to the ground swiftly to avoid being cut. He covered his head instinctively, and waited for the sounds of the smashing to cease.  
  
But when he looked up again from beneath the protection of his arms, he saw Emma at the doorway, a look of sheer unmistakable, and utterly terrifying anger in her eyes. Her face was stoic, lacking of any emotion, most unusual for the psionic woman. Usually her featured were a pallet of fear, happiness, confusion, understanding, sympathy, and so much more.  
  
Now it was all gone, replaced by the powerful rage she felt at his apparent betrayal.  
  
A solitary tear fell down her cheek. Her expression did not change.  
  
Jesse held up a hand, and he struggled to find the words to say to his friend.  
  
"Emma, please, just listen to me, and I'll tell you why I have to tell Adam," he begged, stepping back away from her as she approached.  
  
Then he wondered why he was being so afraid of her, and it hit him that maybe Emma was just testing to see how intimidated she could make him feel. Maybe if he showed her he wasn't afraid, then she would stop, and listen to him.  
  
It's a long shot, he thought, but what option do I have?  
  
So he stopped, standing up to her defiantly, his feet planted firmly on the ground beneath him, failing to move an inch.  
  
"Emma," he began calmly, "I'm worried about you."  
  
She did not flinch, simply continued in her silent approach, staring coldly.  
  
"Look at what you're doing. You're trying to hurt me. and the Emma I know wouldn't do that, not for anything. I would never betray you, Emma."  
  
He saw her face shift slightly, and he wondered if his words had moved her slightly, in any way.  
  
But what happened was a little unexpected. She punched him, hard, harder than he had thought Emma capable of. He nearly lost his balance at the shock of the strike, but just looked back to her, and sighed. His face was full of compassion, and he hoped she could see it in his eyes, if not read it in his mind.  
  
She hit him again.  
  
The third time she reached out to strike, Jesse took a hold of her arm, and he felt the tension in her limb. Her arm was rigid, her muscles clenched.  
  
He stared her in the eye, and said quietly, "I would never do anything to hurt you Emma. never. You know why?"  
  
She reached out with the other arm to strike, and this time, another tear fell, and then another. Her breathing became rapid, and he could see her chest rise and fall in bursts. Her eyes welled with tears. She narrowed her eyes at him, and brought the arm down to hit him.  
  
Jesse caught her arm, holding it firmly, but gently. He could feel her trembling violently.  
  
"You know why, Emma? Because I love you," Jesse told her, his voice soothing.  
  
"No!" she yelled, releasing the tears, and he watched as they tumbled from her eyes. She snatched back her arms, and proceeded to beat him on the chest with them, her strikes becoming weaker and weaker with each blow. She sobbed uncontrollably, her eyes screwed up tightly as she screamed in protest.  
  
Finally, her screams became nothing but whimpers, and her hands merely patted him, so lightly he could barely feel her blows at all.  
  
Jesse took her in his arms then, and embraced her, hearing her sob against him, holding her close. Her knees collapsed from under her, and he lowered her to her knees, he too kneeling so that he could keep holding her, providing her with the warmth and friendship he knew she so badly needed right now.  
  
He soothed her with gentle words, whispers that everything would be fine, and no one was hurt.  
  
She protested, insisting that she had hurt him, and she would never be able to forgive herself.  
  
"No," he told her sternly, his words filled with kindness, "you could never hurt me, Emma. Never. I forgive you for what you tried to do. I understand, and I'm going to help you through this, alright? I won't let anything hurt you."  
  
She quieted in her sobs, and embraced him in return, accepting the warmth and kindness he offered.  
  
For what seemed like an eternity, which, in reality was only a few minutes, the two sat on the floor, in each other's arms, warming each other with their presence and kindness.  
  
And their love. 


End file.
